“Om bhur bhuwa swah…When last you fuck a thing with a tongue ring…”

Oh yes,  meh can feel de holy presence. Oh yes man, meh can feel it, feel it, feel it! De big lady in front me clapping she hands and I know if she was standing she woulda been bouncing she behind too. Oh yes man, de holy presence definitely been in there with we.

Meh close me eyes and enjoying de bhajan (hymn) de pandit singing. Oh yes man, meh de feeling so holy meh sure God woulda tek me straight to heaven. De auntie over in de corner been knocking de dhantal and de cute coolie boy beating he drum. Oh man, you shoulda hear de rhythm. Meh sure God been bouncing away to it too.

De rhythm did got we, oh how de rhythm did got we. But then all of a sudden me hear a big boom box and next thing meh know is de tongue ring song meh hearing. Good Lord, bright and early pon a Sunday morning is de tongue ring song just break into you temple. Good God man, is wa de world coming to eh?

All of a sudden meh find meh self struggling to follow wa de pandit saying. De damn tongue ring rhythm just infiltrate meh mind. All meh keep hearing is “when last yuh fuck a thing with a tongue ring”. If me did dead right there and then, meh na so sure if is heaven me woulda go. If meh did dead right there and then is de tongue ring song woulda been in meh head. Good God man, is wa de blasted world turning to eh?

Imagine, bright and early Sunday morning and meh can’t even pray in peace. But you know, meh can’t help wondering wa God think about de tongue ring song…hmmm…wa you think God think about de tongue ring song?